The Five Stages of Grief: How to Cope with Loss

Mariella Arceo

Nov 18, 2022

It's no secret that loss is a part of life. We experience it in different ways, and often times we aren't prepared for it when it happens. The death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or the loss of a job can be incredibly difficult to cope with. In this blog post, we will discuss the 5 stages of grief as identified by Kubler-Ross. If you are experiencing loss, know that you are not alone. These stages are universal and everyone goes through them at some point in their lives.

Five Stages of Grief


What is Kübler-Ross theory of grief?

The Kübler-Ross stages of grief, also known as the DABDA model, were first proposed by Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying. The theory has been controversial since its inception, with many mental health professionals arguing that it oversimplifies the grieving process. Nevertheless, the stages have become widely accepted and are often used to help people understand what they are experiencing.

The five stages of grief are:
  1. Denial: This is the first stage of grief and it is characterized by a sense of disbelief or denial. This is a natural defense mechanism that allows us to cope with the overwhelming reality of loss. It is important to remember that this is a normal part of the process and not to be ashamed of it.
  2. Anger: The second stage of grief is characterized by feelings of anger, resentment, and frustration. This is often directed towards the person who has died, or towards the situation that caused the loss. It is important to express these negative emotions in a healthy way, such as through writing or talking to a therapist.
  3. Bargaining: The third stage of grief is characterized by a sense of desperation and a need for control. We may try to negotiate with the situation, or make deals with God in an attempt to change what has happened. This is a normal part of the process, but it is important not to dwell on this stage for too long.
  4. Depression: The fourth stage of grief is characterized by feelings of sadness, loneliness, and despair. This is a natural response to loss, and it is important to allow yourself to feel these emotions. Do not be afraid to seek help from a professional if you are struggling during this stage.
  5. Acceptance: The fifth and final stage of grief is characterized by a sense of acceptance and peace. This does not mean that the pain of loss is gone, but rather that we have come to terms with it. We are able to remember the good times without being overwhelmed by sadness. This is the end of the grieving process, but it is important to allow yourself as much time as you need to get there.

How long does each stage of grief last?
There is no right or wrong way to answer this question. People grieve in their own way and at their own pace. Some people may move through the stages quickly, while others may cycle back and forth between them. Allow yourself as much time as you need to work through your grief. There is no timeline for grieving, so take all the time you need. The healing process is not the same for everybody.

How do you know when you have finished grieving?
The final stage of grief is acceptance. This does not mean that the pain of loss is gone, but rather that you have come to terms with it. You are able to remember the good times without being overwhelmed by sadness, denial, anger and other unpleasant emotions. If you find yourself at this stage, know that you have completed the grieving process.

What are some tips for coping with grief?
Since the healing process is not the same for everyone, this also means that not everyone will cope the same way. However, here are a few general tips to cope with grief:

  1. Acknowledge your feelings: It's important to allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling, even if it's painful. Denying your emotions will only make them worse in the long run.
  2. Seek out support: Talk to friends, family, or a professional if you're struggling to cope with your loss. It's important to know that you're not alone.
  3. Be patient: Grief is a process, and it takes time to work through it. Don't be too hard on yourself if you're not moving as quickly as you'd like. Just take things one day at a time and eventually, the pain will start to fade.

Coping with grief also involves a lot of self care, which may involve doing your favorite activities, interacting with family members and friends, or even seeking therapy. You might also want to consider attending bereavement groups for people who are grieving. This can be a great way to connect with others who understand what you're going through.

What if I get stuck in one of the stages?
If you find yourself struggling in one particular stage of grief, it may be helpful to seek out professional help. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you work through your emotions. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone copes in their own way and at their own pace. Just allow yourself the time and space to feel whatever you're feeling, and know that eventually, the pain will start to subside.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with grief, do not hesitate to reach out to mosaicmindscounseling.com. Mosaic Minds Counseling is here.